Over the years

I'm sure lots of you have seen these lolita "timelines", well here is one more. I'm cheating slightly with 2003 because that was Mana cosplay - however it was my gateway to lolita. For some years I only had the pics shown to go back to, some years are missing due to a crashed computer, for some years i had plenty of material and chose what seemed to represent my style best in that era (not the best or worst pic, just representative). On a personal note, i never seem to look at the camera head-on. I seriously couldn't find ONE photo where i'm looking right forward. Also 2007 is looking dubiously at 2005 ... y u so bitchy 2007??

Brown seems to be my new "thing"

Looking back on this outfit, I wish i had worn a smaller flower with my headbow, or none at all. However, for the most part i'm happy with how the browns, offwhite and creams coordinate. The dress and socks are AP, the purse and headbow are Innocent World, the Rosette is by Mossbadger and everything else is offbrand.
Now this is how i've been wearing sweeter dresses lately - toning it down with non-print socks and a plain bolero and boots. I think that there is so much going with the print (an older and absolutely unpopular AP print by the way, it goes for super cheap on Mbok) that it doesn't need much in the way of accesory support. I wore a cute doughnut ring but limited myself to just that one to keep it from being overwhelming. Most of this outfit is AP, the boots, socks and headbow are Innocent World and the blouse is a Forever 21 offbrand find.

'Til next time!

Planning my Weekend Outfit

Although I try and follow my own advice of only buying lolita items for the right reasons, sometimes I get things completely back-assward. For example, I got this Krad Lanrete OP completely on impulse because … wait for it … I had socks that would match it. I’ll give you a few moments to let that sink in. I’m pretty sure that buying an expensive dress because you have some random $20 socks you want to match is just the sort of “logic” that makes my beloved husband sigh heavily on a regular basis.

Flawed logic aside, I’m really excited to see how this outfit comes together. I’ll be going to a fancy tea this weekend and it’s just the place to wear something like this. If the weather cooperates I’ll also get to wear my lovely A&tP black capelet. As usual, I’ll be throwing together a last-minute hairpiece made of blue flower clips and black feathers. I still have a few days to make it work!

Quick Pics (Garfield Conservatory Meet)

Over the weekend, we had a small meet at the Garfield Conservatory in Chicago. One of my favorite reasons (besides the flower displays) for having meets here is that it’s a casual “low pressure” sort of meet and allows a small group to talk and get to know each other … and take some nice photos even in the dead of winter.

I ran with the floral theme and wore a green floral Metamorphose jsk with an Innocent World blouse and a handmade hairpiece. I think my spring-green nails and floral rings added a bit of interest without being overwhelming. I do wish that I had taken my own advice and applied some under-eye concealer that day - but like Alice, apparently “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.”

Photos by Kasey Zhong & Zechao Yang!

The Etiquette of Special Diets

This is something that applies in and out of the Loli-sphere and apparently needs addressing. How to navigate events that include food and eating when you have dietary restrictions or specific dietary preferences.

First of all, it helps if you have a chill community without too many lolis of the “I subsist on macrons, earl grey and rose petals!” variety. When encountering these individuals I suggest nodding, smiling, and then hoofing it over to the other side of the room where the sane people are.

Second, determine for yourself if people need to know about what you can and can’t eat. I think that if you have allergies it would be irresponsible for you *NOT* to speak up and let the host know. Food preferences pertaining to your general health goals don’t need to be shared, simply avoid what you don’t like. You don’t always have to explain, sometimes a “no thank you” and a smile will do nicely.

Third, make things easy on your host. For example, if you are having a picnic meet or a potluck, mention that you are vegan or keep Kosher (for example) and that you’ll be happy to bring some prepared items both for yourself and some to share. If you are going to attend a catered event, be prepared for the worst and assume that your needs may not be accommodated – consider politely reminding your waiter of your special order once you are seated and before the food arrives, or excusing yourself to have a word with the Maître d’Hotel or Manager if that doesn’t work.

Fourth, avoid awkwardness and be polite. If you happen to be vegan and your table-partner is not, don’t talk about how ham is “gross” … this is unkind. Going on about how you could never give up eating tasty crispy-fried animals to your vegetarian tablemate is rude too. It’s also unlikely that anyone needs to hear graphic descriptions of your gastro-intestinal distresses or a treatise on how avoiding sugar changed your life when the dessert tray comes along.

Fifth, have a good attitude. Really, even if it’s a picnic or a fancy tea the main reason that you are there is to enjoy the company. A poorly prepared hors d'oeuvre does not have to ruin your day, and it really shouldn’t ruin everybody’s good time. There is a fine balance between controlling the situation so that you have a pleasant time and trying to control it to the point that you and your needs are the center of attention. Your *BASIC* needs should be met, all of your expectations may not.

Set yourself up for success by thinking ahead and preparing and controlling what you can control. Remember it’s about the fun, not just the food <3

Unleashing your inner Norma Desmond

I hope that at some point in your youth, someone came along and told you how incredibly important it was to wear SPF. Now granted, I’m a white girl with super pasty skin that burns and freckles up and I can only speak from my experience … but I feel that I’m on firm ground saying that SPF can only help in the long run. I use a mild cleanser (Cetaphil is a good basic), a decent moisturizer (Aveeno’s “positively Radiant” with SPF), extra SPF in the summer and a BB cream when I’m trying to look presentable – these are basics I never skimp on.

Of course after a hard winter or when my skin is looking especially rough, I have to bring out the big guns. If any sun makes it past my sunscreen or if acne (did you know you can still get acne at my age? Seriously, it’s totally not fair) leaves me looking red or uneven, I use Clinique’s Dark Spot Corrector. For under-eye-circles (again, I seem to blessed with all sorts of issues), I like Miracle Skin Transformer "Treat & Conceal Eye & Face” – it’s pricy but worth every penny in terms of not leaving your sensitive eye area dried out. If you have the budget for another pricy beauty buy, I’d like to suggest my favorite exfoliator, Sweep by Laboratoire Remède – it’s grains are super fine for a thorough but gentle exfoliating experience. If you are looking to save a few pennies but still want to do something nice for your face, how about perennial drugstore favorite Queen Helene’s Mint Julep Masque … just a few bucks, lasts forever and leaves your skin supple and refreshed without irritation.

But you wanted the full-on Norma Desmond treatment didn’t you? Ridiculous pampering, glorious promises of gleaming radiant skin and sweet scents to tempt your frilly heart. The Mint Julep masque works, but it’s a little drab and unexciting isn’t it? Then lets get on to the fun part of this post, the sheet masks from My Beauty Diary and My Scheming.

Look at these damn things, any Lolita worth her bloomers would just buy these because of how awesome they look. Chocolate truffles, Bulgarian White Rose, Tea and Macarons? I was sold.

The first mask I tried was My Beauty Diary’s Bulgarian White Rose Mask. It’s literally a paper mask saturated in slimy liquid – you peel off the backing and just smooth it over your face and leave it on for 20-30 minutes. I felt silly after about 10 minutes so I took it off and just let the remainder sink into my skin. It smelled great and my skin did feel refreshed and very hydrated and soft. The Earl Grey Tea & Macaron mask was exactly the same, it only smelled different (like tea). The Crystal C Brightening Eye Mask from My Scheming (odd name, but apparently that is what it’s called) was really unusual. I unpacked what looked like small, clear, gel insoles, peeled them off the packaging and stuck them under my eyes. While the masks were really effective I wasn’t as impressed with the eye treatments … or maybe I was just unnerved by how much they felt like sticking wet fruit roll-ups onto my face?

Anyway, the masks are highly recommended for a nice skin treat and they actually work beautifully. Plus they are freakin’ adorable and smell so good, they’ll have you asking Mr. DeMille for that close-up ;)

Mutton Dressed as Lamb (I couldn’t resist!)

The next time you feel a little self-conscious about wearing Lolita style at your advanced age, remember that you don’t look silly for your age, you just look silly ::wink:: Lets face facts here, when people stare at us in our frills it’s not because of these little details that we nitpick amongst ourselves – it’s because they are randomly seeing a bunch of people wearing crazy clothes in public. People who are not familiar with our fashion will generally not be able to tell if we are doing it right or doing it wrong. They will focus on the outrageous details and not judge you on the quality of your lace and fabric, your coordination skills or your age.

Look at the two pictures below, which do you suppose your average onlooker will consider more “mature”?

Neither (trick question, since I’m wearing Lolita in both). You might as well dress for yourself first, for the greater Lolita community second, and forget the rest since they’ll probably think that you look like a lunatic anyway.

Building your wardrobe around YOU

So how do you determine if *you* need to change your Loli style to a more mature one? Ask yourself what you enjoy about the scene and how you feel about wearing the items in your current wardrobe. Do you cringe a bit at the bright pastels and feel self-conscious about clutching a bunny-bag at a meetup? Or do you look at those non-print modest dresses on the IW page and get bored to tears? You will need to find that precarious balance between keeping what thrills you about being a loli with what your current comfort level is. Nobody can tell you when (or if!) to give up sweet, you will know.

Personally, I decided to refurbish my wardrobe and shape it into something cohesive that will better reflect the things I love about Lolita and that will hopefully bring out the best Lolita in me. That last part is really important. Do you want people to see you wearing an awesome print, or do you want them to see an awesome Lolita? Is the focus on the dress or on you? When I see other lolis that have amazing style, I think what I respond to most is their ability to look effortless and comfortable and very much themselves.

So look through pictures of your outfits and pick the ones that look effortless, the ones where you are clearly smiling and enjoying yourself (not awkwardly tugging up your skirt and standing funny because of your too-high heeled shoes etc). Find the ones where you are at your most YOU and that should pinpoint your style. Something I’ve had to face up to is that I’m a fairly basic Lolita. I’m never going to stun anyone with a super-creative coordinates and even when I’ve tried OTT it just sort of fizzled. Give me a lace blouse, a jsk, a cardi and some cute socks and well-made shoes and I’m a happy lady.

AND THAT’S OK.

One of the best things about selling off a Lolita wardrobe and starting fresh, was that I could make a long-term and long-range plan. Instead of buying based on what caught my imagination and simply made my heart flutter regardless of how it would or would not work, I decided to stick to a color palette of browns, ivories, burgundys, reds and blacks. I made a list of outliers left over from my sales (the sax/white bag I’m apparently never going to sell, a whole drawer-full of socks, the pink strawberry BtSSB bag that I purchased RETAIL – ugh!) and decided to cut my losses. There’s no sense throwing good money after bad and investing more in a look that isn’t going anywhere. I considered when I would be wearing Loli (meets and conventions) and targeted a few key pieces that would work with the kinds of meets and conventions I liked going to. Here is my personal list:

1) Something super fancy for those expensive teas. Something with a longer skirt that would suit pearls and gold.
2) Someting mid-range fancy. For mid-range meets that might include dinner, or a ballet or seasonal events.
3) Something more casual for going shopping or doing outdoorsy things. Something inexpensive that can “work” outside of loli.
4) Hot weather and cold weather appropriate items (since we get a range of temps here from over 100 degrees to 10 below zero).
5) A few accessories that would be more meet specific – an A&tP hat that can transform a plain outfit into Pirate Loli! Or a straw hat for Country/picnic meets.
6) Rings and necklaces and bracelets that could either sweeten up a coordinate or tone it down.
7) One high quality natural looking wig for hair emergencies.
8) Well-fitting, comfortable non-loli shoes that coordinate with the loli outfits planned.

Here is a typical coordinate I put together using this criteria:

Since I already had a few good blouses, socks, shoes, parasols and bags left over from my sweeter days, this meant I only had to purchase a few print and non-print jsks and accessories. Buying like a magpie left me with a very random closet and surprisingly few complete outfits. Buying strategically allowed me to build a surprisingly small but hard-working closet. My closet is not at all envy-inducing … but it works for my needs, my priorities, and my lifestyle.

"Advanced" Lolita Style

This year, International Lolita Day (the first Saturday of June) falls two days after my 40th birthday. Once again I wonder if this is the year I quit Lolita for good or carry on. Once again, the answer stares me gleefully in the face as I open my closet.

I've decided to start this blog in order to talk about growing older in this very youth-centric Japanese fashion. I plan to natter on about putting together coordinates, talk about skincare, and share a few stories.

My personal style is fairly simple and I want to say right off that i'm not the best Lolita or even the oldest Lolita, but hopefully I have something meaningful and useful to share. Alternately, this could be the trainwreck of the year! So watch this space ;)

For those not in the know, the title of this blog is a play on another blog called "Advanced Style" which documents old ladies with incredible personal style ... if you haven't seen it, give it a look.